How Trustful is Your Listening as a Manager?

 

One of my mentee wanted to meet.  I thought to meet a mentee and converse as we travel to our work places.  I shared this plan with the mentee to know if she is comfortable.  I said this plan can help her to be in office in working hours and no need to travel on weekend to catch up.  It worked for her!

We traveled in the Namma Metro of Bengaluru and I listened to her.  I listened to all what she had to share.

Later we got down and walked to a point where we have to split and take our paths to workplace.

Listening the Vent Out

She thanked and said, "I came thinking, you would talk all and advise on what to do.  But, you did not speak for 5 minutes in last 45 minutes, and no judgement."

Listening to her I understood, there is no need for me to talk; I should listen quietly.  She was in the loop of anxiety and exhaustion.  Just she wanted someone to vent out what she is going through.

I knew she can handle it better given she understands the anxiety and how it is exhausting and holding her.

I did a good and useful listening, and a very little talk in this travel and walk.

I'm aware, I listened just one side.

Why she chose me to share what's happening in her work? The trust!

Leadership and Listening - The Trust!

I wish, we will have a manger or skip managers who listens for first; then ask why this way, and not the way which is assumed to be the appropriate.

In a place and space where the business is executed, asking for someone to listen and respond is a big ask and expectation.

It is hard to find a manager or senior who listens for first before giving the advise or instructions on what to do, or lists the expectations with no conversations.

If you have one such senior or a manger who listens for first, let know that person.  That person needs to be recognized and appreciated.

Connecting to the people in the team is important before giving the feedback, corrections and instructions.

To connect, listen and go as a team it needs trust.  If there is no trust it won't happen in a meaningful and helpful way.  It won't be felt at all.  

The connecting, listening, sharing, and being a team is an emotion.  Later everything!  If the emotion is not healthy and alike, it won't work for a long run.

This is my experience and consistent learning by being a team with my teams

The engineers know what do most of the times.  The clarity on what is of priority to the business and manager has to be communicated by saying why it matters.  If you analyze, in most cases the clarity on what is priority will be missing.

All the team need is -- a feel that they are listened, and at times someone to vent out what they are going through in the process.  Having someone to vent out can happen only if there is a trust between the two.

Ah! Your manager and director also need someone to vent out and heal. Do you expect the healing of your manager's to be like marketed self-healing automation?  If so, it wont help you and your manager!  Where is your manager venting out?

A skilled manager is an exceptionally skilled counselor and listener for first.  You can be one for your team, people, organization and community.  Wouldn't you?

This skilled manager would be consistently building the trust.  When the team as well builds the trust with the manager in an open mind, it helps.  

The trust built from manager does not mean the confirmed promotion or saving the people from layoffs or responsible for the growth of people.  

The trust here means being practical, supportive, listening, emphathetic, convrersing, offering the assistance needed and suggesting what works in the current business.

In the days where an Engineering Manager or Engineering Director runs the teams and its activities, it is [not] hard to get time for conversing with team to know them.  

It is a thin line for the Engineering Managers and Directors to have this caliber.  

Unfortunately, the organization, CxO's, VPs and HR staff ignore to evaluate this caliber and skills in the senior leadership.

If the manager and director are just behind the backlogs and deliveries with the boss attitude, the team will be going through the trauma of life time.  This is not healthy for the organization, business, and for its people.  As a consequence, either or both the business and people gradually move out.  I'm aware that you know this!  Don't you?

You will be remembered for how trustful you are, how you spoke, responded, assisted, and how you solved the problems together with the people of your teams and organization; not for what and how you delivered.  It is forgotten in the next 3rd sprint cycle.  Check your sprint history to know what is remembered about you.   

I want to get better each day in the caliber and skills of building the trust.  This does not mean I'm a punch bag or saviour.   It means -- I'm open, trustable, learning, upskilling, practical, human centered and bussines oriented.  The differentiator!

To stop here, 

• What is trust?
• How you are building the trust factor with your manager?
• How you are building the trust with your team as a manager?
• Are you delivering yourself as a bossy leader for your people?
• What's the trust equation between you and your teams?
• How trustful is your listening and practicality?
• Do you listen? How connecting it is?
• Are you also one among those task checkers and "yes" sayer to please the people above you and impress them?  

Impressing should also be to your team members and not just the people above you.  

Don't please be it to your team or people above you! It won't work and help with anyone in longer run.

Impressing and pleasing are not the same.  Whis is more trustable?

Software Design Principles in Communication of an Engineer

 

As a reporting manager, anytime did you say this to one of your team members?

• You did not deliver what the organization expected.
• You did not deliver what the business expected.
• You should also deliver what the company needs; but, you did not.

If you hear any of these from someone in the team other than manager, it is more likely, the story is narrated in the team, and you are hearing it now.  How to avoid ending up here?

Reporting Manager and Communication

When I'm in the role of a reporting manager, I want to avoid the below mistakes and keep my team well aware and informed.

I see, most of the skilled engineers are put to a corner because of not good communication from the reporting managers.  And, not all engineers are aware of politics and to move politically.

I listen and converse to such engineers. They are not well communicated and aware of -- what is expected by business, company and stakeholders.  It is not communicated in precise and straight.  

But, it is expected from one to deliver. Failing to do so, the message narrated to the floor is -- she or he did not deliver what is expected.

When I work in the role of Engineering Manager or Director of Engineering or its above roles,

• One of primary responsibilities is to be better in communication day-by-day and follow the KISS - Keep It Simple and Straight.
• Yes, you read it right, it is KISS.

How are you communicating in the role of Engineering Manager and Director of Engineering?  How effective, simple, precise and straight it is?

Software Design Principles and Communication

Communicate with your engineers in the teams.

Help your engineers to understand the expectations.  Practice the software design principles in your communication.  Give it a try!

If a software engineer can identify and implement the design principles in the software she or he builds, then, she or he can identify it in your communication and the expectations you have.

These software design principles should be in our communication day-on-day,

1. KISS
2. DRY
3. YAGNI
4. TDA
5. SOLID

Do not have these design principles just in the interview rounds and sometimes in the code review.  It should be in our communication and day-to-day decision execution.

Do you have these in your communication?

Or, just in the interview you take and the system you build?

Ask your team member if she or he knows your expectations.  Ask, how well you have communicated it.

To sum up and summarize,

1. The team or a team member is skilled but failed to deliver the expectation is more likely when the expectations are not well communicated by her or his reporting manager or the skip manager. 
• The other case is, the engineer is lousy and not stepping up.  But, most times it is not well communicated.
2. The Software Design Principles as KISS, DRY, and YAGNI are not just for the software we build.  
• It is also a must practice in our day-to-day communication and engineering's decision execution.  
• If it cannot be practiced in our communication, I doubt, if a team or org practices these design principles in the software system it builds and ships.
3. The reporting manager role is underrated and not understood well enough.  
• It is one of the critical roles in the business and org.  
• Any of us can be a reporting manager in role. But, hardly a few have the lasting legacy of being the effective and efficient reporting managers.
4. Communicate it straight and in simple, so that, each in a team knows her or his objectives and how it will align to business's goals and objectives with an impact.
5. Learning to deal with one's ego is a underrated and unspoken skill.
• Foster and build culture where one approaches you with questions to seek clarity.  
• When you demonstrate how well you are handling the ego, the other can spot it and will manage her or his ego.  If not, still you will master your ego!
6. Like, how a child's growth behavior is reflection of people around it, an engineers growth and behavior is a reflection of you and people in the business and org.
• The reporting manager's persona, communication and character will leave the marks on team members and org.

Happy Engineers Day!