Testing Garage: The Odds and Otherside of Mentoring & Community Work

The space of mentoring and association is something not easy to understand in the begining days. Especially when a mentor is not coming from a job having big designation and social media following. I got hit by these waves. Now, I know how to balance my swimming with these waves. I'm swim smoothly without losing my energy and focus.

I try to understand what could be going in the mind at the other end.

Here in this blog post, I'm sharing what I experience, and what I'm said by few who wants to pair up and practice.

The intention of this write up is to share what I look for in minimum and no intention of hurting or talking bad of anyone.

Do Not Disclose My Name and My Practice With You

I was approached by few fellow engineers from the software testing community. After a few sessions of pair practicing and learning together, I was asked to not mention or take their name and talk about the practice's accomplisment in the community. I respect and acknolwedge this ask. But, then, I asked why so! I did not see any appropriate reason or concern expressed for doing so. I have not shared anything about our practices and so far accomplishment.

That said, I see these mentees and a few testing community had no concerns in tagging and getting associated with others in social media and in the community spaces.

The curious me, tried to uncover what could be the reason for this. I learn, these are a first few reasons:

No big job title and role metnioned on my LinkedIn profile
Not having the major social media following
Not speaking often in conferences and not given an opportunity for not having a title or big company name in my LinkedIn profile
Not being a panelist in any conferences
Not being a panel member in the discussion
Not being a AMA person in social media and community space
Not working in a organization which has brand name that bring crowd to conferences or to the one's benefits
Not getting into unneccessary discussion or space that highlights the exchange of words [not the thoughts]
For not taking the inequality gesture and treaments
For practicing deep
For offerring the assistance when it is not asked

This thing, I stopped!
I learned my lessons

Helping and assisting with no expectation in return

When you do not asked for any returns, the value is not recongized
The same people pay thousands elsewhere and say it did not help them

And, I'm too good and humble is what I see; this does not work in the longer run in any business

And, being so makes me not practical

Today, I'm saying NO to -- who approach me, and, then ask me not to say with anyone in the community as it impacts them and their relationship with others.

I'm asked to share and give my work and artefacts, but, do not want to step up for giving a mention or credit in public! I don't get it how!

I'm saying NO for such learning association and mentorship connection for the last two years. I see, this is the best that I can do.

The practice and learning need courage, and the openness to receive and give back. Without this, we cannot experience the learning, practice and growth.

It is not that I make it public by tagging and bragging. I don't make enough time to brag by tagging unnecessarily. I write it meaningfully when I see our accomplishment adds value and benefits to more people, and to the mentee and me.

The point is, who is seeking assisatance do not have enough courage to stand up and say, we are practicing. But, the same people will associates every other corners tagging with credits to others.

So, where is the problem? If it is associating together with me, I want to say no to those who see that problem.

This is not just with individuals. I see the same with a few Software Testing Communities. At the start of a day, it is a business for the software testing communities, today. While I get a lot of learnings from the communities, such things need to be ignored, and I do it. If we do not make a way to support and sustain the community bussiness, there will be no space to make meaningful and sensible noise and exchange the learning. Today, I watch myself in how I contribute to certain testing communities. Giving back to community is must when I get so much from community.

So, Why This Blog Post?

I want to share this blog post for first to whoever approach me for practicing together or a community work.

I do not want to partner and associate in a mentorship and community work, if a person and group is

Lacking the courage
Not wanting to give the due credits
No mention for whatever we lose, learn and gain in the pair practice we do

If the receiver is not confident and happy about the learning, gain and loss we make together, then I want the person to make use of her/his time with other mentor and skilled engineer. I refer them to other mentors [and skilled engineer]. That way, the person and group can feel proud of her/his learning and talk about it in public by mentioning the other mentor [and engineer] name.

I'm not being paid or making money when I work with a mentee or for a software testing community. I expect the recognition, mention and due credit to be put out in public when the mentee or a community makes a loss, benefit and gain. I see this is a fair expectation!

I do not want to be used with no respect and keep asking for the same. If I remain so, I will not set a better example to myself, my teams and to the fellow people in the community.

Be courteous to those who give you, while you do not know, what that person is going through.